Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission

So I was talking to my daughter’s friend about a family gathering that she attended. She said that they were very “judgy”.
“They make me feel so bad sometimes. I don’t want to be with them”, she said.
She didn’t go into the specifics, but what caught my attention was the phrase “They make me feel so bad…”
I thought of that and she reminded me of my younger self. I took everything personally. I wanted to please, be seen as the obedient one, be perfect, you get the idea. And therefore, when I get criticised I get upset and reiterate the whole situation for days.
So, I looked at her and said: “My dear, nobody and nothing can make you feel bad without your permission”. Remembering a very powerful and empowering quote that is attributed to Mahatma Gandhi
And went on explaining to her what I meant. This is one of the many life saving lessons that I learned during 5 decades of my life journey.
“Anything you hear, that is said to you, has absolutely no meaning unless you assign meaning to it. When you assign meaning, you define the person’s intention which is something we don’t really know for sure. There are many reasons and many circumstances in people’s lives for them to say what they say. If we just look at what they say as just words and not bring them inside us, then they cannot affect us”. I explained to her and expanded on it to make sure she really understands it.
If you think about this, we often use the phrase “it got to me” quite a lot without contemplating what it means. We need to realise that, words and actions of others, are not our concern and they are away from us. But we let them get to us; we allow, we give permission for them to get to us.
Let’s work on ourselves and have words and other people issues not getting to us.
Easier said than done, I know, but self development is always work in progress. And remember you have 100% responsibility to yourself and your well being.